You’re Not Lazy — You’re Under-Supported
You may hear it often, I know I feel it every day - there’s never enough time in a day to get everything done.
Work deadlines, chores, family events, and even spending time with friends, let alone self-care. If you’ve ever called yourself lazy for not “doing enough”, this is for you.
More than likely, you’re not lazy - you’re under-supported! But where does this feeling of inadequacy stem from?
Productivity culture pushes us to be ‘productive’ at all costs. Often negatively affecting our physical and mental health by encouraging us to check off our to-do list and disregard fatigue or the need to rest!
The myth of motivation as a personal flaw: Resilient minds said it best, “Labeling exhaustion or lack of motivation as "laziness" implies a character flaw – a lack of willpower or discipline. This internal judgment adds a heavy layer of shame onto an already difficult experience. It prevents us from seeking appropriate support or making necessary changes because we believe the problem is simply us. But burnout isn't about unwillingness; it's about inability due to depleted resources.”
Why calling yourself lazy is often a defense against burnout or disappointment: oftentimes we hear ‘oh I had a lazy weekend’ but why? Often, we are just burnt out and physically need a break - calling it laziness can help us put a label on it without confronting the burnout or fear of disappointing oneself when something is unachievable
The emotional toll of mislabeling yourself: calling ourselves lazy, when in fact we’re burnt out, dismisses the real underlying issues causing our inability to be ‘productive’. Therefore, making it more difficult to realize when we need support!
The truth of the matter is that you’re likely burnt out due to lack of support, resources, and/or rest! In this post, we’ll unpack the deeper reasons behind stalled motivation and why support—not self-shaming—is the solution.
Signs You’re Actually Under-Supported
I have felt it, the growing list of things to get done in tandem with my body screaming at me to take a break, but I keep pushing until I can’t anymore and go a whole weekend getting nothing done, feeling lazy and unproductive!
But are you lazy, or are you just burnt out?!
As stated in Andrews University’s Pulse article, “Laziness, however, never starts with motivation. The dictionary definition of laziness is, “the quality of being unwilling to work or use energy; idleness.” Meanwhile, “Burnout can be an all-consuming feeling. It has similar symptoms to a depressive episode: the inability to do tasks, the inability to get up, exhaustion, and more.”
So, now you are better able to differentiate whether it’s laziness or burnout.
But how do you know if the burnout stems from a lack of support? More than likely, you’re not lazy - you’re under-supported if:
You’re constantly mentally exhausted, even after rest
Your to-do list keeps growing, but you have no idea where to start
You’re doing the work of multiple people (business, home, caregiving)
You struggle to ask for help or feel guilty receiving it
You feel unseen in your efforts, even by yourself
Oftentimes, our growing list includes tasks that have to be completed. From housework such as cooking and cleaning to work deadlines and even the support of our friends and family. But we can’t do it all by ourselves! Finding support can be the change needed to avoid burnout.
What Support Really Looks Like
Support is not always physical. Maybe many of the tasks you need to get done are your responsibility and can’t be offloaded. But support can look different to everyone - some of those different ways are:
Emotional support: someone who listens without fixing - ever vent to a friend and feel like you can take on the world afterward? Venting helps relieve stress and can often help us problem solve as we get our emotions out and can better look at the issue logically.
Practical support: shared tasks, delegation, systems. Whether at home or at work, burnout stems from taking on too much. Asking for support from family, friends, and for work, coworkers, can massively reduce the strain put on one person. Sometimes the support we need can be found through technology, such as software that can reduce your workload or at least help with organization
Internal support: self-compassion, boundaries, and permission to pause. Being gentle with yourself and allowing for breaks and understanding that you are one person can help you know not only when to delegate but also when to take breaks, before reaching burnout!
Structural support: tools, time, childcare, therapy, mentorship. If you’re doing it ALL, sometimes taking a step back and seeking external help can be the small change needed to allow yourself more flexibility and time!
Take the time to step back and look at what aspects of your day-to-day life/to-do list you’re avoiding. Do you physically need more time in the day? Ask for support and delegate tasks when you can! While out of many of our comfort zones, oftentimes the help we need is just a request away.
The Cost of Being Under-Supported
Okay, so you’re under-supported. So what? Lack of support can affect way more than your ability to complete tasks on time; it can cause:
Creative burnout and decision fatigue
Resentment and isolation
Loss of momentum, clarity, and joy
Internalizing guilt and shame over something systemic
Essentially, turning into that feeling of being ‘lazy’ because your motivation or ability to complete basic tasks is becoming too difficult.
Not only affecting the way you see yourself but creating resentment towards others, re-shaping relationships and views on the world that may be seen differently if receiving the help needed.
What to Do Instead of Shaming Yourself
Recognizing the issue and taking action/allowing yourself grace, can be harder than you think. So how do we move forward and realize that you’re not lazy - you’re under-supported?
Pause and ask: What support would actually help right now?
Identify your version of support—this looks different for everyone
Choose one small area to ask for or allow help
Reframe rest and slowness as strength, not weakness
Practice language like: “I’m not lazy. I’m doing my best with what I have.”
Stepping out of the narrative of shaming yourself can be the most difficult part. I often find myself thinking, “Why can’t I handle this all? ___ does it with no complaints” - but what I am working to realize is that everyone’s life behind the scenes is different and what drains me may look different than others.
Encouraging myself and stepping away from the narrative that I’m the problem has helped me comfortably ask for help, and in doing so, I’ve realized that no one is judging me for doing so!
Encouragement for the Overwhelmed
Reframing your mindset and recognizing that you’re not lazy - you’re under-supported can be overwhelming at the least. Often causing imposter syndrome and telling yourself you’re not enough, but:
You’re not broken. You’re human.
You deserve systems and support that nourish you—not deplete you.
Getting help isn’t failure. It’s wisdom.
Imagine what’s possible when you’re truly supported.
When you are feeling overwhelmed and like you can’t even get up to do a basic task, reflect on where you are under-supported in life or work right now. Remind yourself that you are human, you aren’t meant to take everything on alone, and allow yourself to ask for support!
Share this post with someone who needs a reminder that they’re not lazy—they’re doing too much alone.
And remember, we are here to help!
Hav
